So, I celebrated my 24th birthday last Sunday. Yay! I am excited about this year. I'm really happy where I am in my life right now. I'm in school and for the first time I feel like I've found something I'm completely in love with. I never knew I would love science so much but I can't get enough of it. I study but its not a chore for me. I love learning about the different bacteria and how our body works. I'm still feeling intimidated about PA school. Its hard to think about because I have no idea how this dream will become a reality. I'm following God kind of blindly right now. I believe with all my heart I'm on the right path and He keeps blessing us as if to remind us that He's here and He will take care of us. I have no idea what He's going to do with us the next few years of our life but I just have to keep trusting Him and following where He leads.
Things are going great. In December I completed my first wedding with Simply Anna's. I was really nervous about it but I think everything turned out wonderfuly. Once I get some more pictures I plan on posting them. I made my first quilt this past Christmas for my niece Carter. It had a tan and green panelled background. I made a large golden crown with a purple jewel in the center of the quilt and added patches that spelled out "Princess Carter" underneath the crown. I was proud of it and Carter seemed to really like which I was worried because a quilt isn't at the top of a four year old's Christmas list. I want to learn to sew more items. I've picked up a few handbag patterns. Right now I need to get some items sold so I can buy more supplies for Simply Anna's. So next on the list will be to make profiles for all my work on etsy.com and invest in some advertising. I am developing some handmade tree pendants with pearls and glass beads. I think they are beautiful and I'm so excited about them. I can't wait to unveil them.
The healthy diet is continuing. I let myself have some freedom over my birthday weekend. I somehow gained six pounds this past week while Bryan gained and lost two pounds eating the same thing I did. I watched a few documentaries on food. If you haven't seen Food, Inc. yet you must because it is an eye openner. I've realized that I need to get back to a simple, all natural diet, eliminating commercially processed foods. I also learned in Anatomy and Physiology that if an individual has a metabolism problem they need to increase their mineral intake because minerals are what promote metabolism health in our cells. Yesterday I started a food journal to see how certain foods affect my body. I've also been trying to make taking my vitamins on a daily basis a habit as well as drinking lots of water. On one of the food documentaries it said that you can eat all the right foods but if you're not getting enough water, your body can't flush out all the toxins and they end up sitting in your colon. I definitely don't want colon cancer later in life. The basic plan is to limit carbs to two servings a day and increase my amounts of fresh fruits and vegetables. I'm also wearing a pediometer every day with a goal of 10,000 steps. I've yet to make it to the full 10,000 but I'm getting there. Once the ice melts I will begin my marathon training with the hopes of completing my first marathon this fall.
Life is good and I've never felt more blessed in my life. I'm amazed on a daily basis at how God has equiped me to do so many different tasks that I never thought I could do. I hope that doesn't sound like bragging because I'm not. I am reminded of Annie Hawks who wrote "I Need Thee Every Hour" while cleaning her house. That song has become the anthem for my life. He helps me every single hour and I am so grateful. I mean, the fact that at this very moment I feel completely at peace and happy comes directly from God because my nature is to be worried all the time and depressed if life doesn't go exactly like I've planned. I can't wait to see what God has in store for year 24. I believe its going to be one of the best years of my life because I plan to give every second of it to Him.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
More than Skin Deep
I've realized somethings about myself within the last few weeks. Mainly, how selfish I am.
I first noticed my selfishness in the small areas. For example, I would see a small piece of trash on the ground and I would think, "I'm tired of picking up trash, someone else can do it." Then I would realize how incredibly selfish that sounded and yet, I would leave the piece of trash for someone else to find later. I later noticed that I would feel this leading to step outside my comfort zone and talk to people I didn't really know, but again, I didn't feel like it so I just did what I wanted to instead.
This past week, I could feel God whispering, "Anna, its time to change." And of course, to me, picking up trash and talking to people seemed kind of easy. But then God started to deal with me on a much deeper level. I had no idea but I've been following God with the mindset that if I am good and do what He asks, He will reward me. Now, we all hear about God taking us to heaven one day and how that will be a grand reward, but I would probably be the person who would say, "Hey God, why is that person's robe prettier than mine, when I did...?" And honestly, Heaven wasn't really what I had in mind. It's hard for me to fully express what I mean but I just had this feeling of entitlement that since I've always tried to follow all the "rules" I deserve God's best, not really allowing room for God's grace in my life. I'll be honest, I've never really fully understood grace and though this sounds really bad, deep down I don't think I've ever felt that I needed God's grace. Yikes! I've just admitted one of the most horrible things a Christian could ever think and yet, I've thought this way for as long as I can remember.
So now I believe I'm in the state where God is showing me my shortcomings, not to really throw it in my face, but more to show me what's holding me back. The first of which, is my selfishness and feeling of entitlement. The second is probably equally as bad, but I have this deep desire to be noticed. I mean, I want people to put me on pedistals and think I'm God's gift to humanity. I don't want to be famous or anything, but if I was in a contest where people had to choose who their favorite person was, I would want to win. This has led to extreme jealously at times and a constant comparing myself to others. Of course, I've always felt I would lose the contest and put myself down a lot, which would only make me regroup to see how I could make people love me even more.
All of this kind of makes me sick to my stomach and if you think I'm a horrible person, you're probably right. Last night Bryan held a youth retreat and he talked about making it our goal for 2011 to allow God to grow us so that, at the end of the year we would better know Him than we did in 2010. But first we had to let go of whatever it is that holds us back and strive forward to the future God has for us.
I have always felt God leading me to mentor and guide young women but I had never fully set myself aside in order to fulfill this calling on my life. Last night I realized that He's already put some young ladies in my care and I've haven't been giving them my absolute best which they deserve.
So my resolution for this year is to fully give myself to God and allow Him to use me to help others. I plan to do this by praying for God to reveal to me the selfish areas of my life and then praying for Him to help me let those go. I would like everything I do to not seek my own glory but instead, to be a prayer stating "God take this and use it for Your glory."
As far as my Bucket List goes, I want to continue it. However, before I was trying to lose weight and run a marathon so people would think I looked great and was Wonder Woman. Now, I would like this to be a way for me to be a good steward of this body He's given me. In case you're wondering, I only made it 153 lbs instead of 150, but I no longer want to be obsessed with a certain number. I would like God to show me the healthy weight He would like me to be. I plan to eat right and exercise for 30 mins. a day to give Him my best. I also plan to ask for guidance in how I dress so that I'm not tempted to dress in a way to "get noticed" but more in a way that pleases Him. I will train with the goal of running a marathon at the end of this year because its something I've always felt I should do. If I succeed I will know its because God allowed me to and He kept me going. Simply Anna's will belong to Him and I pray that He will use it to inspire other women to allow God's beauty to shine through them.
Finally, I pray that my life will somehow show that we as women should not compete with each other but instead encourage one another, and that a woman is more than what society deems her to be.
I first noticed my selfishness in the small areas. For example, I would see a small piece of trash on the ground and I would think, "I'm tired of picking up trash, someone else can do it." Then I would realize how incredibly selfish that sounded and yet, I would leave the piece of trash for someone else to find later. I later noticed that I would feel this leading to step outside my comfort zone and talk to people I didn't really know, but again, I didn't feel like it so I just did what I wanted to instead.
This past week, I could feel God whispering, "Anna, its time to change." And of course, to me, picking up trash and talking to people seemed kind of easy. But then God started to deal with me on a much deeper level. I had no idea but I've been following God with the mindset that if I am good and do what He asks, He will reward me. Now, we all hear about God taking us to heaven one day and how that will be a grand reward, but I would probably be the person who would say, "Hey God, why is that person's robe prettier than mine, when I did...?" And honestly, Heaven wasn't really what I had in mind. It's hard for me to fully express what I mean but I just had this feeling of entitlement that since I've always tried to follow all the "rules" I deserve God's best, not really allowing room for God's grace in my life. I'll be honest, I've never really fully understood grace and though this sounds really bad, deep down I don't think I've ever felt that I needed God's grace. Yikes! I've just admitted one of the most horrible things a Christian could ever think and yet, I've thought this way for as long as I can remember.
So now I believe I'm in the state where God is showing me my shortcomings, not to really throw it in my face, but more to show me what's holding me back. The first of which, is my selfishness and feeling of entitlement. The second is probably equally as bad, but I have this deep desire to be noticed. I mean, I want people to put me on pedistals and think I'm God's gift to humanity. I don't want to be famous or anything, but if I was in a contest where people had to choose who their favorite person was, I would want to win. This has led to extreme jealously at times and a constant comparing myself to others. Of course, I've always felt I would lose the contest and put myself down a lot, which would only make me regroup to see how I could make people love me even more.
All of this kind of makes me sick to my stomach and if you think I'm a horrible person, you're probably right. Last night Bryan held a youth retreat and he talked about making it our goal for 2011 to allow God to grow us so that, at the end of the year we would better know Him than we did in 2010. But first we had to let go of whatever it is that holds us back and strive forward to the future God has for us.
I have always felt God leading me to mentor and guide young women but I had never fully set myself aside in order to fulfill this calling on my life. Last night I realized that He's already put some young ladies in my care and I've haven't been giving them my absolute best which they deserve.
So my resolution for this year is to fully give myself to God and allow Him to use me to help others. I plan to do this by praying for God to reveal to me the selfish areas of my life and then praying for Him to help me let those go. I would like everything I do to not seek my own glory but instead, to be a prayer stating "God take this and use it for Your glory."
As far as my Bucket List goes, I want to continue it. However, before I was trying to lose weight and run a marathon so people would think I looked great and was Wonder Woman. Now, I would like this to be a way for me to be a good steward of this body He's given me. In case you're wondering, I only made it 153 lbs instead of 150, but I no longer want to be obsessed with a certain number. I would like God to show me the healthy weight He would like me to be. I plan to eat right and exercise for 30 mins. a day to give Him my best. I also plan to ask for guidance in how I dress so that I'm not tempted to dress in a way to "get noticed" but more in a way that pleases Him. I will train with the goal of running a marathon at the end of this year because its something I've always felt I should do. If I succeed I will know its because God allowed me to and He kept me going. Simply Anna's will belong to Him and I pray that He will use it to inspire other women to allow God's beauty to shine through them.
Finally, I pray that my life will somehow show that we as women should not compete with each other but instead encourage one another, and that a woman is more than what society deems her to be.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
With This Ring
Growing up, I never daydreamed about my wedding day. I didn't care where I was proposed to or how he did it. For me, I just couldn't wait to have someone hold my hand through life's journey. I wanted someone who would be my best friend to the very end. When I met Bryan I knew I had found that person. My heart felt at home instantly and I didn't have to try to be someone I wasn't. More than that, I felt safe and my heart found peace.
Recently, I've been without my engagement ring. This year for our anniversary we're getting our rings engraved with Agape to remind us to love one each other unconditionally. At first it felt awkward without my sparkling ring that I so often gazed at in the light. My hand felt so plain with a simple band.
However, this simple band has shown me that this is what marriage is really like. Its not the flashy piece that everyone notices and gauks at, that shouts "I love yous" from rooftops. Its the simple times when no one is there and I'm happy to have someone to sit behind, watching Modern Family. It's the feeling when I'm in a crowded room feeling nervous then he turns and winks at me. It's the fighting that I hate but love that I have the freedom to fully feel anger and know we love each other more than the emotions we're feeling. It's my absolute favorite time of all, when I feel like I'm falling apart inside and I have no idea why, he takes my hand, sits me on his lap, holding me while I cry fiercely until the world is right again. I know he loves me when he wipes my tears away and tells me with my red puffy, snot invested face, how beautiful I am.
In those moments, I don't care what flashy thing the world has to offer or how many lists of stuff I think I want, I'm simply content, knowing that for the rest of my life my best friend will be there loving the best and the worst sides of me.
I believe Train puts it best "Marry me, today and everyday." We had a ceremony two years ago to make it official but I've been choosing to marry Bryan every day since May 4, 2007 when he held my hand for the first time. I've enjoyed every moment we've had together. I can't wait to see how we'll grow and develop our love even more over the years. I'm so blessed to have found him.
This is from the card Bryan gave me yesterday. I just had to share it.
Love isn't just hearts and flowers,
though sweet words have their place.
It's rainy days made sunny
by the bright smile on your face.
It's the little daily triumphs
I can't wait to share with you.
It's all the random rough spots
that we help each other through.
It's the way you accept me
my good points, faults, and all.
It's knowing you support me
and feeling ten feet tall.
It's wantint to be worthy
of the trust you put in me.
It's looking to the future
and liking what I see.
It's mornings in the kitchen.
It's cuddling up at night.
This love is the daily stuff
And we have it right.
If you would like to check out "Marry Me" by Train here's a link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ess2qlVHl6E
Recently, I've been without my engagement ring. This year for our anniversary we're getting our rings engraved with Agape to remind us to love one each other unconditionally. At first it felt awkward without my sparkling ring that I so often gazed at in the light. My hand felt so plain with a simple band.
However, this simple band has shown me that this is what marriage is really like. Its not the flashy piece that everyone notices and gauks at, that shouts "I love yous" from rooftops. Its the simple times when no one is there and I'm happy to have someone to sit behind, watching Modern Family. It's the feeling when I'm in a crowded room feeling nervous then he turns and winks at me. It's the fighting that I hate but love that I have the freedom to fully feel anger and know we love each other more than the emotions we're feeling. It's my absolute favorite time of all, when I feel like I'm falling apart inside and I have no idea why, he takes my hand, sits me on his lap, holding me while I cry fiercely until the world is right again. I know he loves me when he wipes my tears away and tells me with my red puffy, snot invested face, how beautiful I am.
In those moments, I don't care what flashy thing the world has to offer or how many lists of stuff I think I want, I'm simply content, knowing that for the rest of my life my best friend will be there loving the best and the worst sides of me.
I believe Train puts it best "Marry me, today and everyday." We had a ceremony two years ago to make it official but I've been choosing to marry Bryan every day since May 4, 2007 when he held my hand for the first time. I've enjoyed every moment we've had together. I can't wait to see how we'll grow and develop our love even more over the years. I'm so blessed to have found him.
This is from the card Bryan gave me yesterday. I just had to share it.
Love isn't just hearts and flowers,
though sweet words have their place.
It's rainy days made sunny
by the bright smile on your face.
It's the little daily triumphs
I can't wait to share with you.
It's all the random rough spots
that we help each other through.
It's the way you accept me
my good points, faults, and all.
It's knowing you support me
and feeling ten feet tall.
It's wantint to be worthy
of the trust you put in me.
It's looking to the future
and liking what I see.
It's mornings in the kitchen.
It's cuddling up at night.
This love is the daily stuff
And we have it right.
If you would like to check out "Marry Me" by Train here's a link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ess2qlVHl6E
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Mission
I awoke this morning on a mission. I am going to get down to 150 lbs. by the end of the year. I am currently 158.1. I have about three weeks to accomplish this. Is it insane? possibly. Will it be tough? definitely. Yes, I know its the holidays and I'm supposed to let myself relax but, I think I let myself relax all year. I mean, Santa's checking his list and I've been pretty naughty with all my food intake. So its time to take that lump of coal, bypass the desserts table and the mashed potatoes, and grill me some chicken.
At this point, this isn't a want anymore. I need this for myself because 150lbs was the highest I was going to let myself get to. I know to some people 150 lbs is nothing but I know me. Once I hit 150 its a fast climb to 200 if I'm not careful. I weighed 132 lbs on my wedding day. So in all actuality I've gained 26 lbs not including the nine pounds I've lost already on the South Beach Diet since I've been married. I need to be at 150 so I can feel in control again. I have problems with food. If I don't watch myself I will eat non-stop all day long. I allow my emotions and boredom control me. I tend to forget that food is supposed to be enjoyed and should make me feel good instead of nasty all the time. I love cows but I don't want to be one.
So here I am. Keep the ho-hos, pies, cakes, and milkshakes, away from me. Its time to get serious and push forward through the holidays with gusto. I will make it. I will be strong. If I have to shave my head and get all G.I. Jane with war paint, I will because its time to win the food battle.
Step One: Add an exercise plan to the diet.
Step Two: Actually do the exercise plan.
Step Three: Don't give into temptation when others are indulging.
Step Four: Keep my eye on the goal.
At this point, this isn't a want anymore. I need this for myself because 150lbs was the highest I was going to let myself get to. I know to some people 150 lbs is nothing but I know me. Once I hit 150 its a fast climb to 200 if I'm not careful. I weighed 132 lbs on my wedding day. So in all actuality I've gained 26 lbs not including the nine pounds I've lost already on the South Beach Diet since I've been married. I need to be at 150 so I can feel in control again. I have problems with food. If I don't watch myself I will eat non-stop all day long. I allow my emotions and boredom control me. I tend to forget that food is supposed to be enjoyed and should make me feel good instead of nasty all the time. I love cows but I don't want to be one.
So here I am. Keep the ho-hos, pies, cakes, and milkshakes, away from me. Its time to get serious and push forward through the holidays with gusto. I will make it. I will be strong. If I have to shave my head and get all G.I. Jane with war paint, I will because its time to win the food battle.
Step One: Add an exercise plan to the diet.
Step Two: Actually do the exercise plan.
Step Three: Don't give into temptation when others are indulging.
Step Four: Keep my eye on the goal.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Update
So I now weigh 158.1 pounds. Which I'm glad but that was just getting rid of the Thanksgiving weight. Its putting me behind. I'm just impatient and its harder to stay motivated when I'm impatient. To make matters worse, I've been craving chocolate pudding non-stop. I don't know what it is but I want it like it is the most amazing dessert ever. I mean, I ate a few bites of red velvet cheesecake the other night and I stopped because I wanted chocolate pudding more. The sugar-free stuff is great and I'm allowed to have it but only one tiny cup a day. I had to stop myself from eating the entire six pack today. Its crazy how it takes a week or two to get rid of the damage you can do within a few days. I'm not looking forward to Christmas and all the parties between now and the New Years.
Next week I have finals. As of right now I have an A in all my classes. I have to make an A on all the finals to keep it that way so that worries me a little.
In other news, I posted pictures on my Simply Anna's Creations and Designs facebook page today. Now I need a good profile picture and a good fan base. I also have my first wedding coming up fast. I'm finishing up all the jewelry this week so I don't have to rush, just in case I have any last minute changes that need to be made. Check out Simply Anna's Creations and Designs on facebook and become a fan. If you have any advice on how I can make the page better please let me know. Its a work in progress right now with everything I have going on, but I do want to get this done soon. I'm hoping to get at least a few holiday buyers.
Here's the link to my facebook business page:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Simply-Annas-Creations-and-Designs/171482922875839
Thank you for everyone's encouragement. It means a lot.
Next week I have finals. As of right now I have an A in all my classes. I have to make an A on all the finals to keep it that way so that worries me a little.
In other news, I posted pictures on my Simply Anna's Creations and Designs facebook page today. Now I need a good profile picture and a good fan base. I also have my first wedding coming up fast. I'm finishing up all the jewelry this week so I don't have to rush, just in case I have any last minute changes that need to be made. Check out Simply Anna's Creations and Designs on facebook and become a fan. If you have any advice on how I can make the page better please let me know. Its a work in progress right now with everything I have going on, but I do want to get this done soon. I'm hoping to get at least a few holiday buyers.
Here's the link to my facebook business page:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Simply-Annas-Creations-and-Designs/171482922875839
Thank you for everyone's encouragement. It means a lot.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Coffee
So if anyone is looking for a low-fat, healthy coffee idea I've found that if you put fat-free half and half with sugar free chocolate syrup and a little bit of peppermint extract you get a great mint chocolate creamer. Its the only way I've been surviving on the South Beach Diet every morning.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Today
Today was my first day back on the South Beach Diet after Thanksgiving. I chose the South Beach Diet because it was written by a heart doctor and heart disease runs in my family on both sides. Anyways, Bryan and I started the diet two weeks before Thanksgiving and I lost nine pounds. Sadly, I gained back three of them over Thanksgiving but I'm still pushing through. Since we cheated we had to start back with Phase 1, meaning we can't eat anything with sugar in it for at least a week. I was surprised how easy today was compared to the first time we had to give up sugar. My body actually felt relieved to be eating right again. I'm considering only choosing a few items to cheat with at Christmas time hoping to keep my weight gain down and to keep from feeling sick again. Currently I am 161.2 pounds. My goal weight is 124 lbs. If everything goes according to plan, I should make it by April 4th of next year. Of course by then I hope to have begun my marathon training. I'm pretty excited.
As far as PA school goes, today was a low. I skipped my first class today which probably wasn't the best idea but I was exhausted. I just wanted one day to breathe. Lately, school, especially the idea of PA school, is terrifying me. I'm scared I'll fail or simply I'll get there and feel like I'm in over my head. What if I can stand the sight of blood and faint or worse, throw up? What if I'm making another mistake? I still believe that its God's will for my life but it seems huge and I'm worried I can't do it. I'm not sure I have what it takes to be a PA. I guess today, I just needed God to squeeze my hand a little harder to let me know He's with me every step of the way. Lately, its been crazy how much He's blessed us. Its more comfort that He's blessing this step of faith Bryan and I have taken. Now I just have to keep trusting Him to make this dream a reality. Its not easy.
On the up side, my crafting business is getting started. Simply Anna's Creations and Designs will be up and running soon. My cousin also sells stuff on etsy.com and she really encouraged me this past week. She loved my jewelry I had made and told me I needed to charge more. My business cards are now on their way. I've been wearing my jewelry out and many people have commented on it. My first wedding is coming up on Dec. 18th and the bride is going to give me professional photos of my jewelry to use as free advertisizing. I'm so excited about it. I can't wait to get everything up on my website. Right now I've got to get my camera fixed and hope the rain will go away so I can get some good shots. Anyways, keep a look out for Simply Anna's Creations and Designs coming to you soon.
As far as PA school goes, today was a low. I skipped my first class today which probably wasn't the best idea but I was exhausted. I just wanted one day to breathe. Lately, school, especially the idea of PA school, is terrifying me. I'm scared I'll fail or simply I'll get there and feel like I'm in over my head. What if I can stand the sight of blood and faint or worse, throw up? What if I'm making another mistake? I still believe that its God's will for my life but it seems huge and I'm worried I can't do it. I'm not sure I have what it takes to be a PA. I guess today, I just needed God to squeeze my hand a little harder to let me know He's with me every step of the way. Lately, its been crazy how much He's blessed us. Its more comfort that He's blessing this step of faith Bryan and I have taken. Now I just have to keep trusting Him to make this dream a reality. Its not easy.
On the up side, my crafting business is getting started. Simply Anna's Creations and Designs will be up and running soon. My cousin also sells stuff on etsy.com and she really encouraged me this past week. She loved my jewelry I had made and told me I needed to charge more. My business cards are now on their way. I've been wearing my jewelry out and many people have commented on it. My first wedding is coming up on Dec. 18th and the bride is going to give me professional photos of my jewelry to use as free advertisizing. I'm so excited about it. I can't wait to get everything up on my website. Right now I've got to get my camera fixed and hope the rain will go away so I can get some good shots. Anyways, keep a look out for Simply Anna's Creations and Designs coming to you soon.
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