#3 Run a Marathon: Week Two

Finished week two of training! I did have to scale back to the half marathon training because the 3 mile runs everyday and 7+ miles every weekend were killing me. I guess I am more out of shape then I realized or maybe I did not realize how much effort it would take. I am used to making up my mind to run 7 miles and then just doing it. I have never had to take it easy before but then again I was never much of a consistent runner before. Anyways, with the half marathon training I am doing more cross training and my long runs start out at 4 miles that build. This actually works out well because I will finish the half marathon in October then I can start marathon training and be up to speed by January.

I know it is still early in training but this feels great. I have never been so determined in my life and the determination is spilling over into other areas. I got up every day this week without pressing snooze on my alarm clock and I wasn't late to work a single day. For me, that is huge if not a miracle. Not only that, I have been more focused in studying for school and I feel like it is actually starting to click. Of course, school doesn't start until August 23rd so we shall see how the semester goes but I feel less chaotic now. Once school starts I will have a more structured schedule and I plan on penciling in runs all over the place. I am really excited to see how this training might actually change my life. It has definitely become my new priority and given me a lot of hope. At the same time I could also just be experiencing a large amount of "runner's high" at the moment. Whatever it is, I'm lovin' it.

#3 Run a Marathon: Week One

I have successfully completed week one of Hal Higdon's Marathon training for Novices. I have to admit running 3 miles a day is harder than I thought it would be. I used to be able to run three miles with no problem. I guess this means that I am successfully out of shape. Hal goes on and on about not pushing too hard, that a runner is better to come to a marathon under-trained than injured from over-training. So, figuring Hal knows what he is talking about, I let myself take it easier than I would in the past and ran as much as I could which has been in the 2 mile range while, walking a song/running a song the last mile. Monday morning I am supposed to run 6 miles, however, working 8:00 a.m. to 10 p.m. all week with an hour commute each way might force me to run in place inside for an hour while on my lunch break unless the weather decides to stop being in the 90+ range. January seems so far away and yet, it feels like it is coming up way too fast. I am terrified that I will not make it 26.2 miles and it does not help reading about the imaginary wall runners hit at mile 20 when your body has burned up all of its reserve and runs on empty for the last 6.2 miles. Running for 4 to 5 hours (the expected beginners rate) seems insane yet exciting at the same time. At this point all I care about is finishing. I do not care if I have to crawl my way to the finish line as long as I get there. So here is to the next six months of my life being some of the best yet! Yay!

Whew! It's Been A While

I feel like I haven't been on here in forever. Since my last post in January I've completed another quarter at Athens Tech with three more courses finished towards my goal of going to PA school. I am now trying to make it through Spring quarter with Anatomy and Physiology II, Statistics, and Nutrition. This summer I am hoping to earn my CNA certification so that I gain some patient care experience and have a job to help pay the bills. I've also started volunteering at a hospice. Right now I've just been training to go out and sit with patients who are going through in-home care. I'm a little nervous because I know these patients and their families are going through a hard time but above all I love people and if all I can offer is a hug or maybe sing them a song then that's what I'm going to do. This will definitely require a lot of prayer but I know God wants to use me here. I feel like my entire life has been leading up to these kinds of moments. I'm also volunteering at the Mews retirement home in Social Circle. I love that place. I'm kind of hoping that once I am a CNA I'll be able to work there. I love the Alzhemier patients and they have been blessing me a lot lately. I'll be planning a trip to give them manicures soon as well as taking Caroline our little Cairne terrier to visit.

I'm very excited to say that I have found some running buddies and I've decided to run a marathon for my 25th birthday next January. We are calling ourselves "The Running Divas." Shirts are being made right now to wear at our next big race which is a week from tomorrow. We completed a 5k last Saturday at Chick-fil-a in Monroe. It was a ton of fun except for all the hills. This next one has a 10k option which I'm debating on whether I'm ready or not. I cannot express how much these women have blessed my life. I feel like too many times we as women put ourselves in competition against each other. I hate being around people who I feel like are measuring me and passing judgement based on the size of my waist or whether or not my hair is fixed and I have make up on. My Running Divas aren't like that at all. They encourage me and make me feel free to be me. I feel like we're helping each other celebrate who we are and I think its just beautiful. I wish all women could be free from comparing, trying to out do someone else and put them down. I'm so happy God has been surrounding me with strong women who inspire me to be a better me. Thank you so much ladies if you're reading. You're truly amazing and I mean it.

One of the things on my list is to reach a healthy weight and to maintain it. This is a great idea but very stressful. I don't know if anyone else struggles with this but I will do my best to eat right and exercise, then I'll step on the scale, cry and go binge on a bunch of crap. I'm tired of it. So now, I have been discipling myself to only weigh in once a month and to keep measurements of my waist and other areas. This way I can also see if I'm losing inches. As far as food goes, I've been buying a lot of fruit and veggies. We got a Magic Bullet which makes eating the 5 or more servings of fruits and vegetables a lot easier. My overall goals in this area have been just to eat more of the good stuff and to relax. Since I've made these changes, I haven't had to worry about eating crazy. Not to mention my natural desire to eat healthier since I've been running. I'm in full training mode and I'm having fun. I can tell my muscles are firming up whether I'm losing weight or not.

My advice to anyone who struggles so much with weight and feeling like its never enough is to just find something you love to do like dancing or running and do it. Make goals on how to get better at that particular hobby so you're not focusing on the weight and have fun. Make a t-shirt bragging about your cool hobby or a necklace or something that shows your pride about it. I have never been a team sport person and being an athlete was never a big deal in my family. However, I've decided that I am a runner and I will wear that title proudly. I will put race stickers on my car and wear a charm necklace showcasing all the races I've run. I'm planning on making a quilt out of my race t-shirts. I want the world to know that I am a runner. It is a part of who Anna Elizabeth Johnson is and each time I accomplish a new goal I have something that no one can take away from me which is huge. So if you're like me find that new great obsession and own it. Let it become a part of you and wear it proudly.

Once you find whatever hobby you want to train for, find a healthy food that you can't live without. My favorite food in the world is broccoli and has been since I was 8 years old. I eat it at almost every meal. My other latest weird food thing is vinegar. I love red wine vinegar on my sandwich and balsamic in my salad. Sometimes there's more vinegar than anything else. I don't even mix it with oil anymore, just straight vinegar. I've also been putting raw cabbage on everything lately. Last night I piled it on top of my pizza for a good crunch effect. Fresh fruits and vegetables are amazing. I fully believe that God gave us the best tasting food naturally before everything got processed. Sometimes I bite into an apple and all I can say is, "Thank you, Lord. You out did yourself on this one." I'm kind of obsessed with getting back to nature when I'm eating right now. I love how after a eat a piece of fruit a donut doesn't seem too tempting anymore. Its a great feeling.

Anyways, I feel like I've been on a tangent about living a healthy and more fulfilling life. I'm just so excited with how God has been freeing me from the desire to be thin and replacing it with the desire to live. I want to help everyone who's been where I have been and I'm kind of thankful that I have had this struggle. I know now that if I didn't I wouldn't work this hard and I wouldn't be able to help others who have this same struggle. I'm hoping that once I am a PA that I will be able to help patients to not feel alienated and chastised about their weight and diet. I want to be able to open the door for better health and happiness by finding something they love making it easier for them to stick to it.

I Need Thee Every Hour

So, I celebrated my 24th birthday last Sunday. Yay! I am excited about this year. I'm really happy where I am in my life right now. I'm in school and for the first time I feel like I've found something I'm completely in love with. I never knew I would love science so much but I can't get enough of it. I study but its not a chore for me. I love learning about the different bacteria and how our body works. I'm still feeling intimidated about PA school. Its hard to think about because I have no idea how this dream will become a reality. I'm following God kind of blindly right now. I believe with all my heart I'm on the right path and He keeps blessing us as if to remind us that He's here and He will take care of us. I have no idea what He's going to do with us the next few years of our life but I just have to keep trusting Him and following where He leads.

Things are going great. In December I completed my first wedding with Simply Anna's. I was really nervous about it but I think everything turned out wonderfuly. Once I get some more pictures I plan on posting them. I made my first quilt this past Christmas for my niece Carter. It had a tan and green panelled background. I made a large golden crown with a purple jewel in the center of the quilt and added patches that spelled out "Princess Carter" underneath the crown. I was proud of it and Carter seemed to really like which I was worried because a quilt isn't at the top of a four year old's Christmas list. I want to learn to sew more items. I've picked up a few handbag patterns. Right now I need to get some items sold so I can buy more supplies for Simply Anna's. So next on the list will be to make profiles for all my work on etsy.com and invest in some advertising. I am developing some handmade tree pendants with pearls and glass beads. I think they are beautiful and I'm so excited about them. I can't wait to unveil them.

The healthy diet is continuing. I let myself have some freedom over my birthday weekend. I somehow gained six pounds this past week while Bryan gained and lost two pounds eating the same thing I did. I watched a few documentaries on food. If you haven't seen Food, Inc. yet you must because it is an eye openner. I've realized that I need to get back to a simple, all natural diet, eliminating commercially processed foods. I also learned in Anatomy and Physiology that if an individual has a metabolism problem they need to increase their mineral intake because minerals are what promote metabolism health in our cells. Yesterday I started a food journal to see how certain foods affect my body. I've also been trying to make taking my vitamins on a daily basis a habit as well as drinking lots of water. On one of the food documentaries it said that you can eat all the right foods but if you're not getting enough water, your body can't flush out all the toxins and they end up sitting in your colon. I definitely don't want colon cancer later in life. The basic plan is to limit carbs to two servings a day and increase my amounts of fresh fruits and vegetables. I'm also wearing a pediometer every day with a goal of 10,000 steps. I've yet to make it to the full 10,000 but I'm getting there. Once the ice melts I will begin my marathon training with the hopes of completing my first marathon this fall.

Life is good and I've never felt more blessed in my life. I'm amazed on a daily basis at how God has equiped me to do so many different tasks that I never thought I could do. I hope that doesn't sound like bragging because I'm not. I am reminded of Annie Hawks who wrote "I Need Thee Every Hour" while cleaning her house. That song has become the anthem for my life. He helps me every single hour and I am so grateful. I mean, the fact that at this very moment I feel completely at peace and happy comes directly from God because my nature is to be worried all the time and depressed if life doesn't go exactly like I've planned. I can't wait to see what God has in store for year 24. I believe its going to be one of the best years of my life because I plan to give every second of it to Him.

More than Skin Deep

I've realized somethings about myself within the last few weeks. Mainly, how selfish I am.

I first noticed my selfishness in the small areas. For example, I would see a small piece of trash on the ground and I would think, "I'm tired of picking up trash, someone else can do it." Then I would realize how incredibly selfish that sounded and yet, I would leave the piece of trash for someone else to find later. I later noticed that I would feel this leading to step outside my comfort zone and talk to people I didn't really know, but again, I didn't feel like it so I just did what I wanted to instead.

This past week, I could feel God whispering, "Anna, its time to change." And of course, to me, picking up trash and talking to people seemed kind of easy. But then God started to deal with me on a much deeper level. I had no idea but I've been following God with the mindset that if I am good and do what He asks, He will reward me. Now, we all hear about God taking us to heaven one day and how that will be a grand reward, but I would probably be the person who would say, "Hey God, why is that person's robe prettier than mine, when I did...?" And honestly, Heaven wasn't really what I had in mind. It's hard for me to fully express what I mean but I just had this feeling of entitlement that since I've always tried to follow all the "rules" I deserve God's best, not really allowing room for God's grace in my life. I'll be honest, I've never really fully understood grace and though this sounds really bad, deep down I don't think I've ever felt that I needed God's grace. Yikes! I've just admitted one of the most horrible things a Christian could ever think and yet, I've thought this way for as long as I can remember.

So now I believe I'm in the state where God is showing me my shortcomings, not to really throw it in my face, but more to show me what's holding me back. The first of which, is my selfishness and feeling of entitlement. The second is probably equally as bad, but I have this deep desire to be noticed. I mean, I want people to put me on pedistals and think I'm God's gift to humanity. I don't want to be famous or anything, but if I was in a contest where people had to choose who their favorite person was, I would want to win. This has led to extreme jealously at times and a constant comparing myself to others. Of course, I've always felt I would lose the contest and put myself down a lot, which would only make me regroup to see how I could make people love me even more.

All of this kind of makes me sick to my stomach and if you think I'm a horrible person, you're probably right. Last night Bryan held a youth retreat and he talked about making it our goal for 2011 to allow God to grow us so that, at the end of the year we would better know Him than we did in 2010. But first we had to let go of whatever it is that holds us back and strive forward to the future God has for us.

I have always felt God leading me to mentor and guide young women but I had never fully set myself aside in order to fulfill this calling on my life. Last night I realized that He's already put some young ladies in my care and I've haven't been giving them my absolute best which they deserve.

So my resolution for this year is to fully give myself to God and allow Him to use me to help others. I plan to do this by praying for God to reveal to me the selfish areas of my life and then praying for Him to help me let those go. I would like everything I do to not seek my own glory but instead, to be a prayer stating "God take this and use it for Your glory."

As far as my Bucket List goes, I want to continue it. However, before I was trying to lose weight and run a marathon so people would think I looked great and was Wonder Woman. Now, I would like this to be a way for me to be a good steward of this body He's given me. In case you're wondering, I only made it 153 lbs instead of 150, but I no longer want to be obsessed with a certain number. I would like God to show me the healthy weight He would like me to be. I plan to eat right and exercise for 30 mins. a day to give Him my best. I also plan to ask for guidance in how I dress so that I'm not tempted to dress in a way to "get noticed" but more in a way that pleases Him. I will train with the goal of running a marathon at the end of this year because its something I've always felt I should do. If I succeed I will know its because God allowed me to and He kept me going. Simply Anna's will belong to Him and I pray that He will use it to inspire other women to allow God's beauty to shine through them.

Finally, I pray that my life will somehow show that we as women should not compete with each other but instead encourage one another, and that a woman is more than what society deems her to be.

With This Ring

Growing up, I never daydreamed about my wedding day. I didn't care where I was proposed to or how he did it. For me, I just couldn't wait to have someone hold my hand through life's journey. I wanted someone who would be my best friend to the very end. When I met Bryan I knew I had found that person. My heart felt at home instantly and I didn't have to try to be someone I wasn't. More than that, I felt safe and my heart found peace.

Recently, I've been without my engagement ring. This year for our anniversary we're getting our rings engraved with Agape to remind us to love one each other unconditionally. At first it felt awkward without my sparkling ring that I so often gazed at in the light. My hand felt so plain with a simple band.

However, this simple band has shown me that this is what marriage is really like. Its not the flashy piece that everyone notices and gauks at, that shouts "I love yous" from rooftops. Its the simple times when no one is there and I'm happy to have someone to sit behind, watching Modern Family. It's the feeling when I'm in a crowded room feeling nervous then he turns and winks at me. It's the fighting that I hate but love that I have the freedom to fully feel anger and know we love each other more than the emotions we're feeling. It's my absolute favorite time of all, when I feel like I'm falling apart inside and I have no idea why, he takes my hand, sits me on his lap, holding me while I cry fiercely until the world is right again. I know he loves me when he wipes my tears away and tells me with my red puffy, snot invested face, how beautiful I am.

In those moments, I don't care what flashy thing the world has to offer or how many lists of stuff I think I want, I'm simply content, knowing that for the rest of my life my best friend will be there loving the best and the worst sides of me.

I believe Train puts it best "Marry me, today and everyday." We had a ceremony two years ago to make it official but I've been choosing to marry Bryan every day since May 4, 2007 when he held my hand for the first time. I've enjoyed every moment we've had together. I can't wait to see how we'll grow and develop our love even more over the years. I'm so blessed to have found him.

This is from the card Bryan gave me yesterday. I just had to share it.

Love isn't just hearts and flowers,
though sweet words have their place.
It's rainy days made sunny
by the bright smile on your face.
It's the little daily triumphs
I can't wait to share with you.
It's all the random rough spots
that we help each other through.

It's the way you accept me
my good points, faults, and all.
It's knowing you support me
and feeling ten feet tall.
It's wantint to be worthy
of the trust you put in me.
It's looking to the future
and liking what I see.
It's mornings in the kitchen.
It's cuddling up at night.

This love is the daily stuff
And we have it right.

If you would like to check out "Marry Me" by Train here's a link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ess2qlVHl6E

Mission

I awoke this morning on a mission. I am going to get down to 150 lbs. by the end of the year. I am currently 158.1. I have about three weeks to accomplish this. Is it insane? possibly. Will it be tough? definitely. Yes, I know its the holidays and I'm supposed to let myself relax but, I think I let myself relax all year. I mean, Santa's checking his list and I've been pretty naughty with all my food intake. So its time to take that lump of coal, bypass the desserts table and the mashed potatoes, and grill me some chicken.

At this point, this isn't a want anymore. I need this for myself because 150lbs was the highest I was going to let myself get to. I know to some people 150 lbs is nothing but I know me. Once I hit 150 its a fast climb to 200 if I'm not careful. I weighed 132 lbs on my wedding day. So in all actuality I've gained 26 lbs not including the nine pounds I've lost already on the South Beach Diet since I've been married. I need to be at 150 so I can feel in control again. I have problems with food. If I don't watch myself I will eat non-stop all day long. I allow my emotions and boredom control me. I tend to forget that food is supposed to be enjoyed and should make me feel good instead of nasty all the time. I love cows but I don't want to be one.

So here I am. Keep the ho-hos, pies, cakes, and milkshakes, away from me. Its time to get serious and push forward through the holidays with gusto. I will make it. I will be strong. If I have to shave my head and get all G.I. Jane with war paint, I will because its time to win the food battle.

Step One: Add an exercise plan to the diet.
Step Two: Actually do the exercise plan.
Step Three: Don't give into temptation when others are indulging.
Step Four: Keep my eye on the goal.